Today I could barely raise my head off of my pillow to get up. My 20 month old daughter has decided to wake up at approximately 12:30 for the past three nights to say “hi” over and over again until I give in to her request to respond. The girl is ready to party. I go in to settle her down and she says, with her best pronunciation, “Mik. Mik,” which means “milk.” I don’t want to give her milk. I don’t want to wander downstairs in the dark of night, wearing only my underwear and tank to heat up a small sippy-cup of milk. The pediatrician has warned me that toddlers can develop teeth issues if you let them drink milk or juice after they’ve brushed their teeth.  You would think this would be obvious, but to a sleep deprived mommy, one could care less about reasoning and rules in the middle of the night. I just want her to go back to sleep! Initially, I am tough. I tell her “No,” and she starts screaming and crying, so I give in. I have no reinforcements. My only objective is to sleep and the psycho-toddler wears me down.

Saturday night this occurred and I gave in to her “Emo” or “Nemo” request. She lay in bed next to me watching the movie until nearly 3am. I finally became so impatient that I just plopped her little butt right back in bed. I love her more than anything, but she can make me want to run screaming out of the house. After putting her to bed for the fourth time that night, I resorted to saying things like, “Oh my God! Go to bed! What is wrong with you? Mommy is tired!” She would be silent for about two minutes before a panicked scream session would ensue and then, “Mik! Mik! Mik!” Oh yes, she is her mother’s daughter. Here we are, yelling at one another from our rooms and I have flashes of my youth with my younger sister.

Because my husband is away, I find that I curse his name in the midst of these moments because in all honesty, they just plain suck. I am doing my best given my situation and hope that it will soon end and that the pain will be shared equally between my spouse and I. I know he’s in the army and they are trained for anything, but I think a toddler throwing a temper-tantrum should be introduced into their training regimin. Water boarding has nothing on sleep deprivation. But I digress—I will now finish this rant to write an ad that relates to women and how they are looking for an escape, an indulgence in chocolate. They’ve got to be kidding.